Unmasking the Truth: Are You Truly Kind or Just Seeking Approval?

Varsha Une
2 min readSep 4, 2024

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Hey there,

Have you ever wondered if you’re truly kind or if you’re just trying to make everyone happy? It’s a question worth exploring, as understanding the difference can profoundly affect your relationships and your sense of self.

Kindness VS People-Pleasing

Kindness is like a warm light that shines from within. When you’re genuinely kind, your actions come from a place of deep empathy and genuine concern for others. You’re driven by your values and a sincere wish to help, even if it means making tough decisions or setting boundaries. Your kindness doesn’t seek validation; it simply is.

On the flip side, people-pleasing is often driven by a need for approval. It’s when you go out of your way to keep everyone happy, even if it means sacrificing your own needs. You might find yourself agreeing with things you don’t really believe in or bending over backwards to avoid conflict. This kind of behavior often masks deeper insecurities and a fear of rejection.

Why It Matters

Understanding whether you're being kind or just pleasing others can make a big difference in your life. Genuine kindness builds trust and respect, creating meaningful, lasting connections. People-pleasing, however, can lead to frustration and feeling unfulfilled because you’re constantly trying to meet others' expectations while ignoring your own needs.

Finding Your True Self

Think about this: “Kindness is not an act, it’s a lifestyle.” If you’re truly kind, your actions come from a place of inner strength and self-assurance. You don’t need others to approve of you to feel good about what you’re doing.

So, how can you cultivate true kindness and avoid falling into the people-pleasing trap?

Reflect on Your Motives: Ask yourself why you’re helping someone. Is it because you genuinely care, or are you seeking approval?

Set Healthy Boundaries: It’s okay to say no. Protecting your own well-being is crucial for maintaining genuine kindness.

Communicate Honestly: Be open about your feelings and limitations. Honest communication strengthens relationships and builds mutual respect.

Prioritize Self-Care: Take care of yourself first. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary for true kindness.

As you navigate your relationships, remember that the most fulfilling connections come from a place of authenticity and self-respect. Embrace kindness as an expression of who you are, not as a way to seek validation. In the end, being true to yourself is the key to building lasting and meaningful relationships.

Warmly,
Varsha

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Varsha Une
Varsha Une

Written by Varsha Une

Exploring personal growth and meaningful connections through my writing. Dive into reflections on self-discovery and what truly matters.

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